A Happy Home

     Last Thursday our little Gardner came home from the NICU!! As you can imagine things have been very busy, we have gotten little sleep, and I am making less and less sense with each day, but I am in HEAVEN! There is nothing better than waking up to not one, but TWO, little pairs of eyes staring up at me wanting to eat!  It is so incredible to be at home and know that both my girls are with me and i'm not leaving a piece of myself at the hospital every day... Looking back, I just don't know how we did it, and I know the memory will be even more difficult to fathom with time, as I cannot imagine either one of them being anywhere but right here beside us!! This will probably be the last post for a while so we are leaving you with a few sweet pictures from the BEST DAY OF OUR LIVES!...

    Once again, we would have never been able to make it through each and every day of that experience without your continued love and support.  Friends and Family are priceless, God is faithful, and time heals everything. Please keep us in your hearts in the days to come as we will still have bridges to cross, but know that we are blessed to have come as far as we have and are grateful for your prayers.  We are looking forward to all of the blessings 2013 will bring!

Happy New Year to you and yours from our happy home! We love you!

God Bless you friends,
Brandon, Caroline, Gardner, and Julianna

One Month

We were One Month old on December 14th!  

We are still not supposed to even be here... 
Our due date is January 20th!

A Message From The Girls

A word from Julianna:
    I am so happy to be home with my Mama and Daddy! I am eating so much, sleeping good, and making my parents smile and laugh all the time. They are not getting any sleep but they don't care because I am so darn cute!  I sleep in a bassinet at the foot of their bed and make adorable sounds all night long. I went to Dr. Cheek's office Monday morning and she said that I now weigh 4 lb. 14 oz.! Pretty soon I will be a whopping five pounds! Everything else checked out nicely and I will go back in a week for another check-up... something tells me I'm going to be getting some shots soon. :(
    I miss my sister, Gardner, so very much, but Mama and I are trying our best to be patient... Daddy is very practical (as opposed to an emotional driven Mama) and is helping us to be patient and listen to doctor's orders. We all can't wait to have her home!!

This is a face that I like to make at feeding time... "Little Birdie"

A word from Gardner:
    I am eating so well! I am tolerating every bottle and nursing some too!  I am add lib feeding (which means I can take as much milk as I want, and must take at least 33ccs,) with every bottle. The nurses say that I make the cutest faces and keep everyone in the NICU smiling daily... I am wide eyed all the time and paying attention to everything going on around me.  Mama came to visit tonight and cried and cried as she was holding me... Happy Tears! She is so very proud of how far I have come.  I am a real trooper and a fighter!  I weigh 3 lb. 4 oz. now and will soon be going to an open crib!  My biggest news tonight was that I am wearing clothes for the first time!! This means that I am starting to wean heat in my incubator and if I can maintain good temperatures all night, i WILL be in an open crib and start the path toward home!! Mama is dying for me to be home for Christmas and it just may happen! But if not, it will be God's perfect timing and I can be patient, as I have done so well thus far. We're trying not to count our chickens before they hatch.
     I can't wait to see my sister again and be in the crib next to her in our beautiful nursery.  Mama talks to me about Julianna and Daddy all the time and tells me how much they all love me and can't wait to have me home...

My first night weaning heat... such a trooper. Pray for me! 

We received some precious Santa hats from our sweet "Debba" today and Mama had fun setting us up for this photo shoot... MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

Julianna: top right and bottom left 

Gardner: top left and bottom right

We are moving right along and have both come so far. Everyone is very proud of us and we are lucky girls to be loved by so many.  What a special Christmas this is for our whole family... We are blessed to be here and have already brought so much joy to our parents.  Thank you to all our friends, who we are so excited to someday meet, for all of your prayers and support. Thank you for taking such good care of Mama and Daddy.  You have all prayed for them, brought food, sent sweet cards and emails, and poured your love into the hearts of us all...  We are so thankful for you!!  May God bless your families this Christmas as he has ours. 

WE LOVE YOU!

Julianna and Gardner

...Night, Night...

Together in Spirit

    
     We are just LOVING having little Julianna at home!! She has been such a sweet sweet girl. She hardly ever cries, sleeps well (only to wake up for feedings), and is eating so well! She has her first bath yesterday and did great! It was very short, as Mama was paranoid about her getting cold, but so fun! I smelled her little body all day long... Just can't get enough loving! We both love snuggling with her on the couch, watching her sleep, watching her make sweet faces and noises, and feeding her chubby little cheeks... She misses her sister and can't wait to have her home.

    Gardner is doing so good! She is bottle feeding for every feed now and weighs 3 lb 4 oz! The doctor mentioned weaning her heat today (which is the first step to getting into an open crib), but her nurse seemed to think she was still too small and needed to grow a little more. While this is understandable and we will try our best to be patient, it was still good to hear the doctor even mention it... I guess just knowing that it is the next step is a good feeling. I do want her to go at her own pace though. We are still keeping an eye on her anemia and have not done a blood transfusion as Dr Chen wants to revisit the issue next week... They are giving her iron, and gone up in calories and volume on her feeds. Hopefully, she will correct herself and the transfusion will not be necessary.
   
    With the twins in two different places and stages it is a stressful, yet exciting time! I am so very thankful to have Julianna home, but it almost makes it that much harder to have another child in the NICU. Its hard not to feel guilty about being either at home or at the hospital, because it feels as if I am giving up time with one or the other, although I know that they know no different at this point...  I know that time will heal all of this if we can just hang on for a little while longer.  Please pray that I will continue to have patience and understanding that Gardner is where she needs to be and that we will all be together some day soon. That will be the best day of my life... When our little nest is finally complete! But until that last little bird comes home, we have hope in His master plan and we will keep the faith... and remain "together in spirit."

Julianna

Gardner

May the Peace of the season be with you all!!

With Love,
The Fields

Homecoming Part One!!!

Julianna came home from the hospital today!!! I have been busting at the seams to tell the world this news, as the doctors told us on Monday. We were advised not to discuss it too much as there is always a possibility of things changing. We had to do a little CPR training, get some shots, have 72 hours of maintaining good vitals, pass a car seat test (Julianna had to sit in her car seat for about thirty minutes without dropping heart rate or stop breathing), then we were out of there! I cannot believe it has been ONE MONTH already and that one of my Angels is already HOME!

So as you can imagine, the feelings are bittersweet; it is a somewhat mixed emotion for me. My heart is bursting with joy for the accomplishments of both children and especially for Julianna's homecoming, while my heart aches to think of Gardner still there. While we celebrate this joyous occasion, please keep them both in your prayers but pray especially for sweet Gardner to get on the fast track home as well! We are going to hold off on her blood transfusion for now (maybe next week, maybe not at all, just watching red blood cells) but will keep all updated. 

Here are some pictures from the days events...

While we of course would love visitors later on down the road, please understand that Julianna is still VERY little and her immune system is still delicate... we are trying to not expose her to too much for a good while, so I will continue to update the blog but our family will probably need some time alone to "adjust" and "grow."  I am also going to be pretty tired and trying to sleep while she is sleeping and make occasional runs to hospital to feed Gardner. 

Keep us in your prayers. We are almost there!!! Can't WAIT for Homecoming part 2... Missing Gardner more than ever...

Love,
The Fields

All I Want for Christmas is My TWO little girls...

Dear friends and family,

We have finally reached a personal goal of mine and I like to say Gardner's too... She has reached the 3 pound mark!! She is exactly 3 lb. 1 oz. , and our little "chunky" Julianna is 4 lb. 5 oz.  So so proud of these girls and there progress!!!

Julianna either nurses or bottle feeds every three hours and Gardner bottle feeds twice, then feeding tube, then two bottles, then feeding tube... And so on, with occasional nursing as well.

We did receive news that Gardner's red blood cell count is low and there is a possibility for her having a third blood transfusion so please keep her in your prayers. We hope that isn't the case, but of so it is not a terrible set back because it will help her get back on the right track and could be just why she needs to pick up her eating and regulating her temperature enough to get In the open crib. They are doing some blood work today so we will keep you posted.

With so many things going on here, time seems to be flying and I am slacking on my blogging, but just know that no news is probably good news!

I hope that you all know how much I appreciate your checking in on us, your thoughtfulness, and lifting these girls up in prayer!

In the meantime... The Varner sister "elves" have been extremely busy... Mary Lovett and Anna spent nearly all week preparing this beautiful nursery! I can't WAIT for the baby girls to see their room...

Finally, an Update!

Being new parents of their tiny little girls has consumed every waking minute of

every day for Caroline and Brandon.  As Julianna and Gardner continue to grow,

there are more and more opportunities for lots of hands on interaction from their Mom and Daddy. Caroline asked me to update the blog for her today since she can’t seem to find time to write as often as she would like.

Brandon heads to the hospital early each morning on his way to work to have the first visit of the day with his girls. Caroline follows around mid morning and spends most of the day feeding, diapering, and learning how to care for her little angels. Brandon returns at lunch and then they are both back for the 5:00 feeding. Many nights they make one last nighttime visit to tuck the twins in bed for the last feeding. This exhausting schedule leaves little time for anything else, including much needed rest and rejuvenation. In between all, Caroline and Brandon manage to share their little wonders with a huge, loving family who want to sneak a peak almost daily!

Julianna  now weighs a whopping 4 lbs. 3 ozs, and is taking bottles/nursing every other feeding. She has done really well since graduating to an open crib and the doctors predict she may get to come home before Christmas!! Gardner is now up to almost 3 lbs. and also getting bottles/nursing every other feeding.  We predict she will be in an open crib soon.  Both of the girls are adorable and already have stolen our hearts.  We are so looking forward to the day when both of them are at home and we can give them lots of hugs and love.

  We are all so very grateful to our wonderful friends and family who have showered us with love and prayers (and food!)  that has sustained us through some uncertain days. We ask that you continue to keep Gardner and Julianna in your prayers as they get bigger and stronger. Thank you for reminding us of God’s continual presence through your many kindnesses. 

Mary ("GG")

From today's feeding!

Thank you for your prayers... God Listens!

It comes as no surprise to me that today was an amazing day for both our girls in the NICU!  Prayers have definitely been answered... directly!  Its amazing to witness God's healing powers when people pray and we all keep faith and hope alive...

Gardner went through the entire last night and day today without spitting up her food once! She also was able to go up on feeds AND was able to try a bottle again today, due to her success.  She finished the whole thing! The doctors say that if she tolerates one more night of feeds, we will increase the volume tomorrow and finally get the Picc line out! Hallelujah!!  She also weighs in at 2 lb. 10 oz. (4 oz. above her birth weight). She will continue to increase rapidly if she keeps tolerating the feeds. She is still wide eyed and observant, making eye contact, being "nosey," as one of our nurses jokingly says, smiling, and growing mentally and physically right before our eyes. :)

Julianna is still doing great regulating her body temperature in her open crib. She is also so alert and is making connections with everyone who talks to her... She smiles so much, especially at her Daddy.  She makes a lot of funny faces when she wakes up and it is the cutest thing! I have been having fun dressing her in different outfits and having photo sessions, since she can now wear clothes! I can't wait until her sister can do the same. Julianna has also gained weight; she is 3 lb. 14 oz. (7 oz. above her birth weight). She is doing so good back on the bottle that they have added another bottle to her daily schedule, so she will get three bottles a day OR two bottles and I can nurse for the third. We tried today for the first time and she did wonderful!! We are going to do our best to nurse every day.

Both girls did so good with tolerating feeds today and I felt that so many prayers had been answered; however we still need to keep in mind that just because they are holding the food, doesn't mean that the reflux is gone and both girls are still a little uncomfortable from time to time... and the breathing blips are still pretty regular (although he nurses say that they will outgrow this).

Please keep Julianna in your prayers tonight as she has her third ultrasound. We are hopeful for good results!

A few pictures from today...


             Daddy and Julianna...                                                         Julianna

        Mama and Gardner                                                        Gardner

Goodnight!

Love, The Fields

The Power of Prayer

Posting a little later for Monday night...

I have been discussing the power of prayer lately with several friends, as it has become so evident in our lives these last couple weeks.  It's amazing how far we have come and I am 100% positive that it is due to all the prayers you've lifted for our girls...

I would like to ask of you all tonight, could you say another special prayer for little Gardner? She went up on her feeds today, but continued to spit up and had some heavy breathing and, of course the reflux. It is apparent that she is uncomfortable. So, they are going to back down a tad bit on her feeds and just watch her closely. Needless to say, we  will not be able to get her picc line out today or tomorrow. It's a little disappointing because I am just dying for her to put on weight and feel better... But we have to take it slow and be patient, as I'm reassured by the doctors that it is the best thing for her. I know she'll get through it but my prayer, tonight, is that she just finds peace and comfort...

Julianna is doing well in an open crib!! She's maintaining temperature well. She also was able to try a bottle again today, and took down about 15 ccs! This was so neat to see (her actually sucking and swallowing while maintaining her breathing) and I have hope that she will do even better tomorrow! Julianna is keeping her food down but she also needs prayer for her reflux as she gets really
uncomfortable and holds her breath a lot. She gets hiccups often, as does Gardner, which is another common reflux sign for preemies.

So, thank you again for your prayers and love! We will keep you posted on our precious babies

Eating, Growing, Healing!

     Gardner is still working really hard to keep milk down.  Nurses can't automatically up her feeds daily (as they typically do with most of the babies). They have to have doctors orders each day. However, the doctors are giving permission to advance her feeds (even though she spits up a good bit), but they are just increasing the length of time that the milk goes through the feeding tube. So it is good that they are doing this because she is now up to 14 ccs every three hours, yet the milk is programmed to go through tube over the course of a whole hour.

     Julianna is also working hard to tolerate her food. She takes a whopping 34 ccs! (also every three hours) She is keeping it down with little spit ups but has significant re-flux, like her sister. She started out a whole pound over Gardner, so remains our "chunky" baby. (Never thought i'd say that about a three pound baby!!)

      Good news is that both girls are above their birth weight! Julianna is 1710 kg and Gardner is 1180.. Not sure what that is in pounds but I think it's around  2.6 for Gardner and 3.7  for Julianna. With that said, I do believe that they are both out of the danger zone and going to start climbing the charts in weight!  (Gardner a little bit slower than her sister but that was to be expected).

Gardner's BIG NEWS: She gets her Picc Line out tomorrow!!! 

Julianna's BIG NEWS: She is maintaining her body temperature all by herself. If she can make it through the night with consistent good temperature reads, she will be in an OPEN CRIB tomorrow!

I am so so proud of my girls, they work so hard every single day and already have accomplished so much in their short little 2 1/2 weeks of life... These LITTLE girls can do BIG things. But we are also certain that they could not have come this far without your prayers, an amazing NICU staff, and a God with a big plan for the greater good of us all.

SWEET...

DREAMS.

We love you,
The Fields

Double Love

Last night was the BEST night I've had since the night I discovered I was pregnant! I was able to hold both girls (kangaroo: their skin to mine) at the same time! They have not been together or touched one another since they were in the womb. It was monumental...
I got Julianna positioned first, then the nurse placed Gardner on my chest right beside her. They were both wide eyed staring at each other and grabbing around trying to figure out what was going on. They almost immediately, after a few little noises exchanged, got comfortable and dozed off to sleep. Shortly after, Julianna reached over and placed her hand on top of Gardner's and squeezed. Gardner reciprocated, squeezing onto her fingers... I, of course, burst into tears as it was, without a doubt, the sweetest moment I've ever witnessed!  I can't begin to describe how it felt to be able to look at both of their faces at the same time, seeing their little naked bodies practically glued together, watching them become pacified by each other's existence.., truly amazing. It was such a special time for me, as it was just the girls and I by ourselves, for about an hour, in complete and utter bliss. Brandon then came and took some of these pictures...

Julianna is now wearing clothes in her incubator because they are weaning her. They are decreasing the heat  little by little, seeing if she can maintain her own body temperature. If all goes well, the next step for her is an open crib!

Both girls are struggling with reflux (which is common for preemies) but it affects their breathing and heart rates, so we are praying that they will start to tolerate feeds better and soon be over this hurdle.

Gardner is up to 14 ccs of milk each feeding- still not a whole lot but she is  increasing daily as long as she tolerates it. She is moving at a slower pace but it is the best thing for her right now.

Both girls are taking a break from bottles right now because we are thinking they may not be quite ready and don't want to push anything. A typical baby in utero does not start to suck, swallow, and breathe until around 34 weeks, so we are not worried and are sure they will master it by then! (our girls are still 32 weeks gestation).

So that was Saturday... other than UGA losing to Bama, it was a pretty great day!

Thanks for your prayers... Your support... Your big big  hearts...

Lots of Love,
The Fields